what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize