Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Welp...herpes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
