Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
