It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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