Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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