I've blown a few things in my day
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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