He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is Oprah even human
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
