he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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