I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
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I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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