So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
