So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
