you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
