Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
