I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
