I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
