If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.