hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
