You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
