Sry I called you an 8
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
