so that wasnt chicken after all
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize