I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
