I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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