hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
how do flat chested girls get laid?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
