I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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