it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
