How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
