My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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