this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
