office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
