I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
