She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
