I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
