Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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