If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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