the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
