look no pants
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize