It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
God, I missed his penis.
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