Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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