there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
