did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
