i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
