her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
