will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
