pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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