problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
