i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
