well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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