I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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