Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
