hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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