So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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