Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
