What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
