It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
