Already got asked if we're dating
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize