I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
