love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
