We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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