Can Purell be used as lube?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
