quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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