We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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