Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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