Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
