She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize